Dreams, Rants and Raves

Proof Positive

2006-01-28T09:42:00.000-05:00

Life has a funny way of teaching me lessons. With every thing that has happened to me, I can say there was a lesson. Even when it was a really terrible thing.

It just isn’t always easy to understand what that lesson is.

Which brings me to today. I thought that if I stayed diligent enough about my health, but didn’t focus too much on the aches and pains that I’d be just fine. Turns out I’m not. Turns out that my Lyme Disease may have triggered an underlying medical condition. I’m sick and have really had enough of this. I want to go back to rock climbing, taking things for granted…and not thinking about my own body so much. It’s like watching a mud puddle… I lay around and think of what I would do if I had the energy, find ways to conserve what energy I have and… yeah… I’m like a mud puddle.

For anyone who has heard the words, “We need to take some more tests to figure out what is going on” followed by “We need to do some more tests as these were inconclusive” knows that eventually they may start thinking it’s in your head. I know I did.

Admittedly hearing things like “MS” or “Lupus” are really scary, I’m beginning to feel that I can deal with any of it… even “you’re nuts” …just tell me what it is. I can take it… I swear!

Then the doctor drops a bomb.

“The good news is it’s not in your head. The bad news is, your central nervous system is over-reacting to something and we’re not sure what yet.” That’s not good news. Truly psychotherapy would be my preference. Soft cushions and a calming voice and no sterile anything is my idea of best course of treatment. “Some sort of connective tissue disease” is not something I can wrap my arms around. He tells me to be patient.

Proof positive that my doctor clearly does not know me well at all.

Clearly, I’d like to move onto the part where I know what the lesson was or is.

2005-07-05T08:38:00.000-05:00

Went to Live 8 on Saturday, July 2nd. Very interesting. I was very proud of my Fellow Philadelphians.

There was a lot of "Bush Statements" cruising around that day. I kept thinking all we really need is to but a bunch of Bush quotes on posters and walk around. I thought his own words might make more of an impression. Agreed, the grammar may still be equally as bad.

I find it interesting that we, as a nation, have impeached a President for lying about a sexual encounter but when we were told lies to justify a war (and I'm speaking only about that in Iraq) we accept that.

Before I get slammed about this- I DO believe something needed to be done about Saddam. I believed it in the late 80's and continued to feel this way until they captured him. I question the timing and credibility of our leaders who decided that March 2003 was the time. We had other battles and this decision resulted in short-term results that have long-term consequences. I wish I didn’t believe that even if they knew then, what they know now about WMD, that we’d still be there.

I do not believe it is our place or responsibility to place our own value systems on others, but when the Kurds were slaughtered, as an act of ethnic cleansing well... seems to be that would have been a better time to take a stand. End of rant.

2005-05-02T19:21:00.000-05:00

Bald Cardinal .... Poor thing!

2005-05-02T19:20:00.000-05:00

Bald Cardinal

Turns out...

2005-05-02T16:57:00.001-05:00

Well, it turns out that Marty's rash is probably not Lyme related... but the doc put him on a short dose (10 days) of antibiotics anyway... Just in case. Marty has a cold though and isn't feelin' so red-hot. Quite the pair we are, huh?

Well, tomorrow, we'll be back out in the yard and finishing up one of the fence lines. Oh did I mention? I'm building new fence (from scratch) and Marty's helping me put the posts in. Yay...soon there will be no more chain link fence...wooo hooo! ..Can't wait to sit out there and enjoy our new flowers, and veggies...and...bird feeders. Oh...Speaking of birds... We went birding In Cape May yesterday (met a lovely woman from Flickr and her daughter and their friend). We were able to add a Black and White Warbler (got pictures to prove it) to our life lists and we saw this poor, sad Cardinal. Can you elieve this poor thing? It seems that he completely molted around his whole head at once, which is probably due to mites (can't clean them off their heads) so... They end up looking like this.

Uh oh

2005-04-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Another bite and rash...this time it's on Marty. He started to not feel well today but we're not sure yet if it's Lyme (or other tick borne) disease that's the cause of it. He's waiting until Monday to go to the doc's. I'll share my drugs in the meantime. Sure hope it's nothing...but it was caught early, even if it is... so no need to worry too much.

For now, we're looking forward to getting some time out and head to Cape May for some birding. We're planning on meeting up with a gal we've met through Flickr. She lives in the Chesapeake Bay Area, so it's a good in-between spot and there's supposed to be great birding there right now due to shore bird migration.

Still learning how to use my camera and some darkroom technology. Some days it's almost overwhelming. I have so much to learn!

Lyme Disease...Take #3

2005-04-29T08:31:00.000-05:00

OK, so I got some good pictures and added a few bird species to my Life List.... But uh....I'm sorta payin' for the stupidity that went with me that trip.

We (Marty and I) were just about to exit the Wildlife Refuge in Brigantine, NJ, April 6, 2005, when suddenly we spot some white tailed deer to our left.... "Oh...how pretty...blah blah blah.." and then.... we see the Eastern Bluebird nest boxes...with mated pair. A lovely picture if ever there was one. Marty jumps out and Im fiddling with getting camera back out. "Damn!" My Nikkor 70-200mm lens jammed up. It took me an eternity to figure out how the mechanisms worked so I could unjam it (grrr) and then I was off to join my husband who now had amazing opportunities for pictures. He was sitting down, in a leaning back position that really made me appreciate his work at the gym... when suddenly I look down.

"Hon, you're sitting in deer dung." Now, it's worthwhile to mention that I have had to deal with Lyme Disease, it's diagnostic tests, lousy prognosis’ and untold research documents for 14 years.

“I’m outta here!” says I. He says he’ll be with me “in a minute” to which means…. ‘until I’m done’ as I’ve learned since our marriage.

I see a deer tick on my leg. I take it off. I do a cursory inspection. No other ticks to be found.

Skipping the story of our landscaping job, let’s get to 11 days later. I am getting ready for the shower and take a peak at the sunburn I got on my back (more stupidity) and what do I find? A pink bump and a near-perfect circle rash around it. The words, “Shit!!!” resonated from the bathroom and throughout the house. This is what the rash looks like (this is from a mirror reflection):

The moral of this story is ticks like me just a little too much. Marty is just fine (thankfully) but man… this just isn’t fair. For about 6 weeks prior to this bite I was feeling fantastic…no joint pain, no fatigue, no headaches…and all my energy back. I was still feeling great when I saw the rash. It wasn’t until I started the antibiotics that I started feeling all those fun symptoms come back.

At least I got some really good pictures of shorebirds that day. I’m sure I’ll be just fine but for the next few weeks I’ll deal with flu-like symptoms and my husband will test his tolerance of me, as I whine a bit here and there….

I deserve an ice cream cone, every day….

I had an epiphany today….

2005-04-25T14:33:00.000-05:00

OK two. First, Oreos may quite possibly be the perfect food. And secondly… sometimes it’s good to keep your sense of humor when life ain’t so great. I’ve noticed that when you keep looking for the good stuff and laughing at, with (or around) it… then eventually you just might believe your own mumbo-jumbo…. I had a lifetime to learn this and I had a masterful teacher.

Day Two, Log Two ...Stardate....OK...Nevermind that part.

2005-04-22T08:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so my original concerns about a possible addiction appear unfounded. Thank goodness.

So, Marty and I have nearly finished our landscaping project. We cut in new beds, built up more with dirt and have spread about 6 of the 7 cf. of mulch. I have built lattice frames around our new vegetable garden and some fencing panels of the same material (gate included) at our driveway and front fence line. I’m still building more but this has now given us a true backyard and ability to let the dogs out from the door instead of walking them to the back gate. If you know Oakley, you can understand this necessity on our part. The rest we can do in small steps. I’ll post pictures later, when the rain stops and the sun returns.

It’s been so nice having Marty at home this past couple of weeks, to help do things like this. I never would have been able to get this done on my own. He’s accepted a “package” from his job that allows him to find another job while still getting paid into the new year from this one. It’s a bit nerve-wracking but exciting too. He’s so talented and was getting pigeon-holed into work he really didn’t enjoy doing. It’s hard being good at things most others can’t do. I wouldn’t know this, first hand, but I’m assuming…. Anyway, I know it will come to an end, but it’s been really nice being able to go birding, get stuff done around the house that we’ve been putting off…and just plain old enjoying each other’s company. It makes retirement something to really look forward to.

Before that is even remotely possible we need to get through college years. Blair has his first SAT behind him but is taking the New SAT 2 (Subject tests) next month. He’s hoping this will show two particular areas of strength and interest; History and Science. He’s looking at schools in the DC Area right now since he plans to major in Political Science. He tells me he hopes to be a Senator one day…. I think he just wants to practice with that razor-sharp wit of his and follow in the foot-steps of John Stewart. But I could be wrong.

Day One

2005-03-18T09:02:00.000-05:00

I succumbed and became a blogger today. By Tuesday of next week I expect to be in a 12 step program for my addiction.

In the meantime, feel free to laugh with, or at, me (as long as I can't see, hear or catch you). Life's funny. Make sure you laugh louder than anyone else at you. I do.

Some people think me wise.
Some people think me uptight.
Some people think me silly or outlandish.
Some people think I'm careless.
Some people think I'm too careful.
Some people think I'm too tough.
Some people think I'm too soft.
Some people see me as an engineer.
Some people see me as an artist.

I am none of those things.
I am all of those things.